Sunday, March 29, 2009

Um... What?

Someone told me today that I should write a book. For the purposes of this discussion, we'll call him Brad Pitt*. This sparked some discussion at my home this morning.

Me: Would you let me write a book?

Max: Absolutely not.

Me: Brad Pitt says I should write a book.

Max: Brad Pitt doesn't have to live with you [hmm... this moniker isn't working, as I seem to be temporarily obsessed with distracted by this notion]. You would go insane. Thereby driving me insane.

Me: What about a short story?

Max: Have you ever even read anything you've written? You'd say "short story" but it would turn into a novel.

Me: Hmmm... you're right. Well, what about a screenplay? [just throwing crap out there at this point. I'm not sure I even know what a screenplay is.]

Max: --- [contemplative expression]

Max: --- [contemplative expression, continued]

Max: I guess there aren't very many women pr0n directors.

Me: ---

Me: Um... What?

Max: Sorry, I guess I jumped a couple of steps there. I just suddenly had this image of you going to Hollywood to pitch your screenplays and after weeks of pounding the pavement ending up directing pr0n films.
So I took that as an endorsement and will quit my job tomorrow.

*Partly to protect the party-in-question from being accused of *actual* crack ingestion (as opposed to the social-media variety). Partly because I'm still not entirely sure I haven't imagined the whole interaction and don't want to embarass myself. I mean, further.

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  1. Men always jump straight to the pron, don't they?

  2. I was just thinking that too (what Beth said).
    Men claim to jump "a couple of steps there", but are there really, because, when they open their mouths, what comes out? pron.