The Mark(er) of Integrity

The girls got these from Santa in their stockings (one each - duh!):

What they said on the package:

What would make more sense to have them say on the package:

Harmzie's Den of Unimaginable Pleasures

Unimaginable, because I couldn't possibly make this shit up...

I found this little (pen is included for scale [See what I did there? I made sure to include the space in "pen is"]) gem whilst tidying up the toys tonight:



That's a Playmobil monkey on a pig. I don't think it's a Playmobil pig, because it's squishy (although the monkey is too, but I know for a fact that it's a Playmobil monkey).

It's not a "Tequila Pigs" pig either, because those were lost/destroyed/banished after the Great Tequila Pigs Incident of 2003 (relax did not involve children this time) (did, however, involve Tequila).

But the scene reminded me of another that I found a while back - and also thought to take a picture of, mostly because the position of the eye was *so* perfect. OK, I'm lying. It's because Poochie and Lisa/Betty/Frances (her name changes regularly) were caught taking the world in a love embrace and firing all of their guns at once.

...and This Is Your Brain On Bugs

"Mom, if a bug crawled into your ear, could it get out the other side?"

"No dear, your brain is in the way."

"Oh. NO! Couldn't it crawl through like under and then around?" [lots of indecipherable hand motions]

"Your brain is still in the way"

"NOOOOOO! You don't understand what I mean..."

[Me thinking it's over, but 10 minutes later]:

"Here. This is your head. And this is the hole that they go through to get through the other side. It goes UNDER your brain!" [stupid]

Also, apparently we all look more like Shrek than we realize.