Thursday, May 28, 2009

Welcome to the (30) Rock I Live Under

I started a post about how miserably frustrated I am and how it seems to be affecting many aspects of my life. I started it well, all day yesterday and today - it was a running dialog in my head. But then I went & bought some shoes AND was walking around soccer thinking "hey, I have a job that is currently frustrating - but I *have* a job and I do quite enjoy it; my parenting failures are mostly to do with my otherwise-induced frustrations - but I *have* a family & that's what I always wanted; My outside interests are going under-fulfilled, but they are *interesting* interests and I can work on them."

In other words, I told myself: Suck It Up Princess. And then decided to go with lighter fare:

For most of my pop-culture laden life, during times of conversation when the following topics came up, I had to navigate carefully under the radar, so as not to blow my cover that I have not partaken in That Which Everyone Knows. Here are but a few:

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Apparently there's a movie coming out now. But did you know that before the TV show there was [gasp] a movie?! Crazy, eh? AND it was a good movie. It had great lines in it like "I didn't even break a nail!"; "Excuse much?"; "rude or anything"; and my favourite: Paul Ruebens' death scene (ooo sorry, spoiler. Your own fault for putting everything into a knock-off w/o checking out the original!) "hhhhehhh....... hhhhehhhh...... hhhhhhhhhhhhehhhhh!" Also? Donald Sutherland? and Luke Perry? Give your head a shake. The Old-school was a thing of beauty. Wait. This is about what I *haven't* seen. I haven't touched the TV series.

2. Slapshot - We don't tend to get excited about too much up here in mellow-down Canada. One of the things we do is Gun Control. That clear, I'm kind of afraid to admit this, since I'm pretty sure there's a law on the books that says in spite of gun-controls, you can be shot for not seeing this.

3. Caddyshack - I'm also kind of sure that not seeing a Bill Murray movie can get you at least knee-capped here.

4. Titanic - I can comfortably say will N.E.V.E.R., under my own steam, watch this movie (notwithstanding being trapped on a transatlantic flight where the alternative is a chatty halotosian - even then, depends what they're talking about). It's not even the principle, as I would watch any of these other items.

5. Rocky Horror Picture Show - Just never happened.

6. J&K+8 - what.ever.

7. Survivor - OK, one episode - enough to not bother going back. I can't stand the drama.

8. Pretty much any reality TV show. I *have* a reality, I don't want someone else's thrust at me. Except Elimidate. That was awesome. They were so indignant!

9. The Office - Regrettably, from what I understand.

10. Star Wars Episodes I, II & III - and yes, I call myself a Star Wars fan. Also, I will be in a cold, cold grave before I call I, II & III the "first" [shudder] movies.

11. Harry Potter anything

12. Any season of Idol, past the schadenfreude rounds

13. Lost

14. 24

15. Star Trek TNG movies (seen all the others) - also regrettably.

16. Bourne franchise - I'd still like to see these for some reason.

17. American Pie franchise - one time? at band camp? I suggested to Max that we should see these this movie so as to understand the pop culture references. He said "you already know it". Maybe not, but it was a compelling enough argument to not bother.

BONUS: Shows that I'm pretty sure I've seen all episodes of because at various times they were syndicated at 10:00 - exactly when I needed a half hour shut-down period:

M*A*S*H; Night Court; Cheers; The Simpsons (well up until several years ago, then I gave up); Law & Order (though, I have to say that I saw the bulk of them when I was on my first mat leave and it was on - somewhere on the dial - four different episodes a day)

Your Turn: What does The World think you should have seen that you either (a) haven't bothered or (b) would rather jab a pen in your own eye than partake in?

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  1. I've never seen Star Wars and get it confused with Star Trek repeatedly, making my husband regret his decision to marry me.

    Add in the fact that I don't really like pizza, and I'm labeled a communist.

    I don't watch much reality TV at all (just Idol and Little People, Big World) and can't get into shows that don't wrap up the storyline at the end of each episode. Like, I can't get into Lost, 24, Heroes, etc., despite trying, because they go ON and ON and ON, and you have to like, remember things, and I totally suck at that. And then you have to wait MONTHS for an answer and eff that.

    I do have a soft spot for stupid ass movies - anything Paulie Shore, Jim Carrey (prior to his Number 23/Eternal sunshine days), Adam Sandler.

    Geez, this got long.


  2. I saw the original Buffy movie, LOVED it, the series? Epic fail, I hated it,couldn't be bothered to watch it, it just wasn't the original.
    Slap Shot? shouldnt' that be about hockey?
    Caddyshack is a must see with your teenage brain turned on, like say 16-18ish mind frame? I've only seen it about twice, the opening pool scene, might though turn you off of the rest of the mind, so remember male teen brain. The gopher though? AWESOME! :P
    I refused to watch Titanic cause I know hwo it ends, most of them die! I never wanted to see itand wont watchit.
    Rocky Horror Picture Show, I just don't "get" it, I saw it but I couldn't ever watch the whole thing. too weird even for me.
    The onlyu time I watched J+K and 8? I felt like the K was dissing the J on everything he did in life, I think it was for a birthday party and the J took the truck to a friend's house. Do you think he might have been tryign to escape the "yo uaren't doing anything absolutely positively right".
    The Office? only watch the original, the US version, not good enough to go by the same name

    Your seen everything list is about the same and mostly because they were on CBC at some point. :)

  3. I have declared that I will not like the new Buffy movie because of (a) we sadly cannot have another Paul Reuben death scene - that's the only scene I remember from the first movie (b) Joss Whedon will not be attached to the movie whatsoever - epic fail, dude.

    Other things I declare not to 'get':
    - Reality shows.
    - Like AndreAnna, shows that have a frickin' long story arc (Lost, 24, Heroes, etc.) so that I HAVE TO WATCH EVERY SINGLE EFFIN' EPISODE or else I'll likely miss a vital piece of information and nothing will make sense.
    - Ultimate Fighter Shows.
    - 'Candid Camera'-like shows... I don't like shows that get laughs from embarrassing others.
    - America's Funniest Animals/Home Videos... I don't know how people can laugh at animals and other people getting hurt.

  4. Too scattered/frazzled to do this justice (oh wait...SUCK IT UP PRINCESS! I am going to start telling myself that everyday!) but here are random misc. comments on the subject:

    Loved the original Buffy movie. Have never seen an episode of the TV show. Could care less about the new movie. Yawn. Your analysis was 190% correct.

    Reality TV has gotten out of control. Apparently any C-List Celebrity can get a show (Is It Really That Complicated Denise Richards?) and D-List too (Harry Hamlin/Lisa Rinna WTF?). See my constant twittering about #celebritieswhoshouldntbecelebrities

    Oh - and if you're not worthy of your own ridiculously stupid show showcasing your worthless, vapid existence - there are shows for you too. Like Celebrity Apprentice, Help I Am A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, Etc. Me personally? I'd like to see Celebrity Firing Squad and have everyone die at the end. And no - not a cliffhanger. THEY ALL DIE.

    I watch Idol. And Hell's Kitchen. But there's nothing real about reality TV anymore. It's all scripted. Have watched all seasons of HK - same story lines repeated year in and year hit. Hint? Stop hiring 450lb contestants and they'll stop having to drop out due to health issues.

    Jon & Kate? Why do we care? Because they have 8 children? Big woo. And if that crazy mom in Cali (the one who intentionally had octuplets) gets her own show - I might move to Canada. Actually - I might do that anyway!

    Don't watch a lot of series TV in general. Gave up on almost everything incl. Grey's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, and Desperate Housewives. Like L&O SVU when I can get it. And all L&O on re-runs.

    Have seen every episode of Saved By The Bell, Seinfeld, The Critic and Alias. In fact own all 5 seasons of Alias on DVD even though that show totally jumped the shark after Season 2.

    I love watching old Bev 90210 reruns on Soapnet although for the record, I can't stand Donna Martin.

    And a few years ago a friend gace me Remington Steele season 2 on DVD. It's fun to watch when I am in the kitchen cooking.

    I am sure I have 1000 other thoughts on this subject - but I have to pack.

    ps Stars Wars 1, 2 and 3 don't count.

    pps I am the only person I know who doesn't want to go see the Star Trek movie. I DON'T EFFING GET IT.

    pps I think this comment would have been funnier had I been drinking.

  5. @Country Girl - Oh, just go and watch Star Trek already!
    I honestly didn't think I'd like it (even being a Trekkie nerd -- I never thought they'd ever make a good Trek flick. ever.), and now I find myself thinking I may have to reshuffle my Freebie List because of it!
    Really, if anything, you'll get an eyeful of a couple of seriously lickable men. ;)

  6. hi, I have an award foryou over at my blog! :) Stop on by

  7. Things I Don't Get:

    AI, Survivor, etc: Yawn. Over it.

    The Hills: What? Rich, young "celebs" running around California keeping busy being fabulous and spending disgusting amounts of money? Why yes, I *can* relate!

    Twilight: Yeah, I saw this movie about 15 years ago. It's called "Lost Boys" but I think the movie makers have since cranked up the "Suck" knob.

    Just For Laughs "Gags": Oh god, could there be a more painfully Canadian show? I would rather shoot my toes off and walk on broken glass than subject myself to the headache inducing unfunniness of this show.

    Like all others, I will stick to my L&O and CSI (Vegas) and other interesting shows.

    I also once in a while enjoy TLC's "There Is Something Horrifically Disfiguring About Me And Now I'm On TV So You Can See It Too." Or "I Am So Massively Obese That I Need To Have Walls Taken Out Of My House To Get To The Hospital And Don't You Feel Better About Your Body, Now?"

  8. Stone Fox - I think I love you. And yes, I've poked thru your stuff (couldn't spend too long b/c I have ppl over and they're all like "what the hell?")

    Sure it was a snap decision! Don't make me regret it.

    (and thanks for stopping by!)

  9. A) The Buffy movie was great, never watched the TV show. Paul Ruebens's death scene was hilarious.

    B) Slap Shot is probably not so funny if you never played hockey or never followed hockey.

    C) You never saw Caddyshack? What about Meatballs? If you've seen Meatballs you can get credit for seeing Caddyshack. But Stripes is better than either of them.

    D) Rocky Horror - what? That's crazy. You realize that Nenette's mother-in-law (yes, Roomie's mother!) saw RHPS at a midnight screening? I was there, I sat right beside her, she loved it, especially the rice throwing. She threw it right in my face, hard, point blank range, which is a little weird, but she was fun.

    5. "Reality shows" - I'll watch Amazing Race because SWMBO watches it and it's OK. Nothing else really grabs me, especially with celebrities or pseudo-celebrities.

    F. The Office --- good but not as good as 30 Rock. The Office has its moments but its showing its age. One of those its should have an apostrophe. I'll tape both of these shows to watch when I have time, but if I have only 30 mins of tape available, 30 Rock wins.

    G. The Harry Potter books are great for bedtime stories. Start one at Hallowe'en, it takes to Easter to finish it, and it really expands the kids' vocabulary. The kids have to have a good memory and a good attention span, though.

    I'm never watching anything with Ben Mulroney as a host... unless it's his father's trial!

    Law and Order --- seen one, seen them all.