We went out for a family dinner last night. A little reward for the kids taking one for the team for the past couple of weeks: they had to be shipped off early to before-school daycare to accommodate a little blip in our logistics. We negotiated that in early. Plus some books to read in the hour before school for Norah. They drive a hard bargain.
So the conversation turned to swearing. What? We managed to use the fact that we were out at the "Fanciest Restaurant in Town" (the children use the fanciness of restaurant bathrooms as their gauge and this one is off the charts. Food's ok too) to steer us away from the usual burping & farting conversation.
Max: "so what swearing have you heard Mom & Dad say?" Nothing like asking a loaded question.
Norah: "Well, when driving, Mom has said 'bloody hell!'"
Me: "'Bloody'? That's not even a swear!" [phew]
Norah: "and also 'son of a *bleep*'" (she self-sensors, even when singing along to songs on the radio that have the "soft-swears" in them)
Me: "Well, ok. That's probably not the best"
Max and I exchanged some knowing glances indicating disbelief that this would be the worst that they've heard from us. Really, we try hard - Max tries harder than me - but quite regularly the *real* baddies slip out in whisper and somewhat-less-than-whisper form.
So today, Norah & Pepper were folding our hand towels on the couch (it's one of their jobs. Don't go thinking they just cheerily attack this job or anything). Norah mentioned something sticky on the couch and went to get a wet cloth to deal with it (ok, THAT I'm pretty pleased with).
Norah: "Goddammit! It won't come out"
Me: "WHAT WAS THAT?"
"The sticky stuff. It won't come out"
"No, I mean what did you SAY?"
"I'm trying to wipe it, but it won't come out!"
"[sigh] what. did. you. say. before. that?"
silence and wiping.
"Goddammit, it's still not coming out"
"THERE! Do not say that!"
[nonplussed]"ok, how about 'oh my god'?"
"how about 'oh my gosh'?"
"Whatever. I got most of it out anyway."
It's a work in progress.
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hahhahaa My mom used to try to get me to say Oh My Land! so when I hear someone say that after winning a contest on the radio, I think of my Mom. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, you always were such a potty mouth... when we first saw Sarah Silverman we thought she was the American Harmzie.
ReplyDeleteAnd by "we" I mean everyone that's ever known you.
Out of curiosity, what is Winnipeg's fanciest restaurant? Google says it's Gondola Pizza but I don't believe that. :-) Did you con the kids into accepting Hu's On First as the epitome of Winnipeg dining?
Yeah, what is the "Fanciest Restaurant in Town"? Have I been there?
ReplyDeleteYou know, "oh my gosh" is like nails on a chalkboard for me. It doesn't annoy me like the word "moist", but when I hear it I have the need to scream "'gosh?' what's your 'gosh'?" I can be annoying sometimes.
My son was on the phone with a girl (!) the other night, and they were playing an online game together. He kept saying "Dang!", which is relatively okay, but after a while, it started getting to me. I almost wished he screamed "shit!" for a change. Almost.
This is probably why I shouldn't have children.
ReplyDeleteThis is hysterical! I find that, for the most part, I'm able to keep the "bad words" to a minimum. Until I hit some critical tipping spot, at which point things go to... heck. Our 4.5yo has started to say "oh my god!" which doesn't bother me, but won't fly down in alabama where her grandmother lives. they take their god seriously down there!
ReplyDelete