Sunday, July 4, 2010

Holding On By Letting Go

It was our anniversary yesterday. 17 years.

If some crazy old time-machine version of myself had told me 20 years ago that I would be married for this long, I would have either (a) not believed them, because hey, who believes crazy old versions of themselves claiming to have a time-machine? Or (b) stood on the edge of a lake and yelled "in your FACE Cosmos!" given that I came from the failed marriage of two people themselves products of failed marriages. Probably both, because "a" is pretty insurmountable, but I probably couldn't pass up the opportunity to yell "in your face" to anyone, let alone someone as daunting as The Cosmos (plus, when faced with time-machined versions of yourself, you may as well act out in equally crazy ways).

I don't feel very "in your face" though now. If it all fell apart tomorrow, it would still be a failure and History would have its way, repeating and all. So of course it's still a work-in-progress (Grandparents #2 split after over 30 years – though by all accounts 30 miserable years, marriage-wise).

It's best not to try and keep score with TC (it tends to have the upper hand, being Cosmos and all). So rather than try & beat odds and battle statistics, we've opted to work within and enjoy the ride. That's not a euphemism for anything (unless it is).


Yesterday, we didn't celebrate. We split off and I handled Stewie's fifth birthday party (mini-golf with seven 5 & 6 year olds and a 10 year old helper – HELP!) and he sheparded Pepper through a softball tournament (eight hours in scorching tropical heat with my sister's un-air-conditioned car. Hard to say which is the short straw.) Then, he had a stag to go to (Me: [snide, probing-but-indirect remarks intended to sniff out what's on the "menu"] Him: "We're watching Ultimate Fighting" Me: "is it girls fighting?" Him: "Wow. That *would* be Ultimate!" Me: [sigh][punch]).

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Except maybe a Spa day.

And maybe I'll go whisper "in your face" at the edge of a puddle.

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  1. Happy Anniversary! Hope you have another great 17 years! (And then 17 more and then 17 more) After that, you'll likely be dead. ;)

  2. WOW! 17 years seems like a lifetime, which it almost is. "life without parole" in prison means serving a hard 18 years. so i guess you could apply for parole on your 18th anniversary, if you wanted. that is, if your celly doesn't sharpen up his toothbrush and shank you in the night sometime between now and then.

    hey, it happens.

    happy anniversary! :)

  3. Time flies, 17 years already? Why, I remember not being invited to the wedding like it was yesterday! I'll get over the rejection any time now...

    Congratulations, 17 years is great, keep up the good work! I think the odds are that you are already well past the period of most likely failure (thinking of the bathtub curve here - you know what I mean?), so I think that a little
    "in your face" attitude is permissible.

  4. You are an inspiration. I'm watching and learning. Congrats!

  5. Hey! If you'd told me when I saw you I would have congratulated you. So, congratulations.

    Also, I'm with Max - that *would* be ultimate!

  6. I know I already congratulated you on the actual day for marrying your "long boyfriend" (sorry, I know it's old, but it's not really to me because, you know, I'm nuts and would probably be riding that time machine with you), but "Happy Anniversary" again! xoxo

    ps - I [sigh][punch]'d Roomie too for the above remark about ultimate.

  7. Congratulations. On both 17 years AND posting twice in the same week. EPIC.

  8. that long ago.... and I can remember some of it


  9. No marriage that produced you could be considered a failure ...

    Your marriage has already succeeded ... may it continue to grow and prosper ...