Saturday, December 12, 2009

Girly Bible

Girly Bible

Rules for Girls

Reprinted (verbatim – as is the title) with permission from the author.


  1. Never talk about vilolince
  2. Never think vilolince is funny
  3. Never kiss a boy under the age of 12 (unless they are relitives)
  4. Never tell secrets to those you don't know
  5. Pay no attention when the "boy show" is on
  6. Always eat & talk (not at the same time) for the girls show
  7. Never be rude
  8. When you have a crush on a boy be nobody but yourself
  9. Always be yourself
  10. Be clean
  11. Don't' change the rules in this book (And I mean it!)
  12. Obey the rules
  13. Take care of what you have
  14. Friends don't fight
  15. Friends don't be meen to each other
  16. Friends look out for each other
  17. Play fair
  18. Ignore those who are annoying
  19. Be careful what you say
  20. Be calm
  21. Face your fears
  22. Boys don't live by these rules
  23. Never expect anything in return
  24. Don't make fun of people
  25. Chear on your teammates & friends
  26. Don't play with matches
  27. Stay fit
  28. Dress apropitly for the wether
  29. Don't listen to advratisements
  30. Mute ads
  31. Get your butt of the couch and go outside
  32. Don't do things without asking your parents (unless your 18+)
  33. Be neat
  34. Be careful what you wish
  35. Do what you want to do
  36. Girls are not lazy
  37. Don't cry over spilt milk
  38. What you say is what you are
  39. Nnnnnnnnneeeeeevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr no matter what obey the boy bible.
  40. Don't talk to strangers
  41. Obey rule #40
  42. Be a good girl all the time.
  43. Ignore boys
  44. Consentrate
  45. Remember all the rules!

Norah – age 9


I didn't write this. I didn't even encourage its writing. I didn't even know about it until it was well under way. But it is extremely encouraging to note the influence we have had on its creation. Several of these rules we *regularly* deal with *considerable* flack on. The violence ones are humorous, considering the frequency of sister-clocking which occurs around here. We're still working on implementation of the rules, I suppose.


I hit "publish", snap the computer closed and roll over to go to sleep. Max reaches out with big bear arms and pulls me in for a big bear hug. He giggles lasciviously "is THIS in the Girly bible?"

"No," I say "This will be in the new testament, which she doesn't know she has to write yet."

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  1. oh, nice list! our Norah's one smart cookie. Those really are words to live by. I hope my little ones some day have their own "code of conduct" like that.

  2. #1: what exactly is going on at your house?
    #3: what exactly is going on at your house?
    #35: formidable! laissez les bontemps roulez!!

    the new testament: since she is already kissing un-related boys that are older than 12 and male relatives under 12, you might want to get started explaining this. maybe a few other things while you're at it.

  3. If Norah suddenly goes missing, don't feel compelled to check NC. I'm sure she's just down the street or something...(eyes look up and away and starts whistling...)

    Seriously? OMG. My ovaries just twitched.

  4. It's like a kids' version of The Rules. You could have a best-selling author on your hands.

    Also, I left you one of those silly but sort of fun award thingies over at WR. Come check it out and post it if you want. No hard feelings if not. I promise, no "vilolince"!

  5. She's got it all covered, impressive! She's listening.

  6. That new testament is some verrrrry spicy business.

    Reading that kind of thign would be simultaneously inspiring and scary, I think. Good to know that the good things are sinking in, scary to realize where it's all heading.

  7. Squeee! This was just adorable! You've got a very intelligent lady there!

  8. I love this post. What an clever young lady!

  9. #31 Get your butt of the couch and go outside


    Happy Holidays to you and yours!