Monday, February 23, 2009

I'm not going to reiterate my "problem" with memes

I'm not going to reiterate my "problem" with memes. I'm just going to do it. I have to get to one first just to get back at Nen...
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1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Ever heard of the Beatles? Yeah. It's been a tough slog being named "Strawberry" all these years. When I pick their nursing homes, I tells ya...

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I cried "Get the hell back in bed" just 10 minutes ago [ed: I may have pulled these answers together over several days]. Before that, was five nights ago. Have I ever mentioned that I never left the maturity of a 12 year old behind?

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
My handwriting varies. Sometimes it is pristine and I love it. Sometimes it feels like I'm writing a drunken "sorry-I-barfed-on-your-shoes" note. I've never actually *written* one of those notes, but it looks like that's what it could be. I don't like it then.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I'd say bacon, but bacon's not really a lunch meat. I've had it for breakfast, lunch, supper, snacks, whore's doovers, cravings, clean up (that is, bacon which landed on the floor - I'm not proud)... Lunch meat? Ham (bacon's high-end cousin)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No. I have future Powers-of-Attorney, who will select my nursing home. Fortunately, they don't realized that (yet) and I can still torment them. That time is running thin.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Who wouldn't? Actually, if I were that other person, I'd want to be friends with them. Yeah... Figure that one out. [Stupid hypothetical questions...]

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Whoever said "sarcasm is the lowest form of humour", hasn't sat around my dinner table when The Boy lets one rip. No, in my life sarcasm is considered high-end. I've heard tell that kids can't detect or deliver sarcasm until they're about seven. When Norah was about two or three Max and I gave each other the did-she-mean-what-I-thought-she-meant? look. Sure enough. She did. Do I use sarcasm? Like an artist uses clay; like an engineering student uses descriptive geometry to make an L-shaped gingerbread house; like a gyno uses a speculum... [too far? sorry]

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
I think so. I've never really understood tonsils. I'm told they're a blob of skin on the sides of the back of your throat, but what happens if they're missing? Is it just less skin? A hole? Please inform me if you care & I'll try to come up with a good rant about tonsils [disclaimer: I won't].

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
People closely related to my field spend entire careers building perfectly good bridges. Why would I want to jump off of one? It would be a professional slight, really. And deadly. Stupid deadly.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I'll choke down some Honey-Nut Cheerios now and then.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes. Unless they don't have laces. Or unless they have to come of RIGHT NOW. Although if it's that urgent, they often just don't come off at all.

12. FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT?
Wasabi Bistro

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Chocolate. And not that Breyers one since they changed the secret formula to include creamed crap. Haagen Dazs Coffee ice cream is pretty freakin' awesome and when I was pregnant, Ben & Jerry were my secret lovers. Maybe not so secret. "Cherry Garcia": I found it remarkably easy to get over the reference to the creepy dead heroine addict.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether or not they are looking at me. And then if they have a flicker of a sense of humour. If they do, I'm in. If not, screw you, I don't even want in.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red or pink what? They each have their place.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My inability to pass on a meme [it's almost starting to sound like a word]

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Pedestrians. But I'm trying to (really!), so I'm not sure if it counts.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
No. People need to be more productive with their time than this.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Flesh. Yeah... feast on that.

20. LAST THING YOU WATCHED ON YOUTUBE?
Pearl

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Beck.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I wouldn't be a crayon. I'd be a felt marker. A Sharpie. Black.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Bacon. Citrus. Red wine. [Not at the same time - gross]

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A lady at the studio that Norah's having her birthday party at to confirm the numbers. Boe-ring.

25. DO YOU HATE KNOW THE PERSON WHO INFLICTED THIS ON SENT THIS TO YOU?
I love her. Even when I'm not drunk. Even when the men aren't watching. Even though she didn't send this to me, I harvested it.

26. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH?
5-7 year-old-basketball. Seriously. I hate sports. I don't get sports. I've tried. There's lots of stuff I like about sports - the psychology, the training, the business. But I can't follow the strategery.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Yes. I'm not shy about it.

28. EYE COLOR?
No. I don't know how you would do that. Is it painful?

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. They're too much trouble and I don't find the glasses trouble at all. Plus I get the added bonus of the sexy-librarian look. That's still a look, right?

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
sushi... and it should also be everyone else's favourite food (thank you Nen)

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
One that isn't challenging, mentally. I've enjoyed both. But come on: scary like Jaws. You know, no actual shark?

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Semi-Pro. Loving Will Farell more every day (maybe not every day, but every time I see him in something). I'm considering stalking him. I'm pretty tied up this spring though, so I might have to put it off until fall.

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm not wearing a shirt. [It's a tank, pervert]

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends. Are you offering or do I have to beg?

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Gobi.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I don't care

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Love the One You're With - Emily Giffin. I read her other three last summer & my girls picked out the fourth for Christmas for me (I was being cheap & waiting for paperback). It's taking me a while because I really need to be on a deck chair in the sun & those are in short supply right now. Silently mocking me for the chick-lit? Screw you! At least it's intended for audiences over 12. Like what I'd have to put down if I was being honest.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Funny story: I went out & bought an elaborate computer desk that was tres chiq - glass all around. I thought that with the general smallness of our abode, the clear wouldn't chop up the room. Got it home set it up & found: (a) You can see how desperately the floors need refinishing; (b) you can see how desperately the floors need sweeping; (c) you can see the tangled spaghetti of wires required to keep me plugged into the rest of the world (despite my obsession with cable organizational tools); (d - and the original point of this question) the fucking optical mouse wouldn't work on glass. So, I have a highly classy piece of paper taped to the desk.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
I did not watch TV last night. I cannot remember the last time I watched TV. I have intentions of watching "Arrested Development" which DVD I stole from my parents at Christmastime, but...

42. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
The sound of someone at the door (you know, that's not a home invader).

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Pretty narrow choices. Why couldn't it be "Whitesnake or Salt 'n' Pepa"? I'd still have trouble. I just listened to both on the iPod & didn't skip either. Turned them both up. ("Slow & Easy" and "Push It"). So anyway. I'd have to say the Stones. The Beatles annoy me. I mean, sure they were musical geniuses, but there are actually a lot of musical geniuses (OK, maybe not statistically). They happened to be in the right place at the right time with the right brand of musical genius. Then I think they just started to put out whatever crazy crap popped out of their LSD-enhanced selves and see if people would buy it & gosh-darn-it, they did! [End Rant] Oh, and I actually like the Stones early stuff. Not after they started just seeing what crazy crap they could crank out and still sell [End Rant For Real This Time]

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Bangkok, Thailand (second only to Lake Titicaca for the funniest place name). I was 10. I may have mentioned it.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
None that I'm sharing on THIS site. I will say I've stayed married for 15 years, I don't cook and I can call him "house-bitch".

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Here - Even though I've lived all over and been around the world, I was born just about a 2 miles away.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyone. Really. I'm desperate for affirmation of my existence in this electronic world. It's rather sad, if I think about it too much, so I try not to.

48. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Neither. The cup was designed too large.

49. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Jesus - I'd ask "how'd you pull off that one?"
Queen Elizabeth I - Ass-kicking, take-charge chick who didn't take crap from men OR women, unless that was what was required, and then she was a master at that. And still with a decided weakness for a pretty face. I think it would take more than dinner to get what I really needed to know from her.
Leonardo daVinci - although I'd not be surprised if he didn't stop for dinner.
Kenneth Cole - on the off chance I'd get some nice party favours. Still kicking myself for walking away from that black leather jacket to "think about it". That was four years ago [sniff].
Eric Clapton - do I have to elaborate? Plus, maybe he'd give Norah (and yes, you too Max) some tips for "Sunshine of Your Love", so they don't have to rely on youtube.

Realistically, I'm pretty happy with the five I usually have dinner with!

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